Waiting til she's 18

I told a couple more of the folks last night that I'm pregnant and when they asked when I'm due, I think they were a little surprised when I said end of May...that would be 4 months from now. Why didn't I reveal sooner? well...

Since 2002, I've had (count them) 4 pregnancy losses. One before z, and 3 after. When you actually add up the number of months I was pregnant (with morning sickness), I should have ended up w/ a baby, darn it! (hey, I got gipped!) Anyway, I read about Stitchy's losses last year and 'tho I was too chicken to comment on her blog, I did spend some time reflecting on the fertility issue. And then she commented again early this year about the expected due date...I did that too (the due date thing), but I have tried not to look too much into the future...just in case.

I mean really. You spend your life thinking that everything works fine and with the advancement of modern science, there'll be no problem having children a bit later in life (you know, after you find that perfect person, after you have some time with that person, after you get your career going...). Hey, all your friends are having babies, right? There's lots of babies everywhere. But only to find out that for whatever mysterious reasons, you find that you can't get pregnant or stay pregnant past the first trimester. What's with that?!

Anyway, I didn't tell because folks are so happy when you tell them you're expecting, but if something happens, well, you've got to remember all the people you told and remember to let them know that you've lost the pregnancy ('cause you don't want them to make an awkward comment several months down the line). With z, we waited until 16 weeks to tell most of the family members!

I am super lucky 'tho. After a 30 plus hrs of labor that resulted from a failed induced labor (labor ended when the pitosin was removed) followed by an emergency c-section, I got the most wonderful son--who continues to amaze and challenge and (yes) sometimes frustrate me.

And we have (hopefully) a baby girl in May. See! I'm still cautious. I still worry about all the things that may go wrong in the pregnancy. Did I mention I've got gestational diabetes again? And this time, they tested me super early, so I'm already on meds to try to knock the numbers down. And there's the scary statistics about still births, etc. w/ GD that I don't think about. No, really, I try not to think about it.

I guess I envy all the women who are oblivious to these issues, where she gets pregnant, and can do all those Hallmark moment things like surprise the husband with the positive test, or the to-be grandparents with a cheesy t-shirt proclaiming 'grandpa' or 'grandma', eat all the icecream she wants... Nope, we're secretive for months and months and when we announce, there's always a little bit of fear that we're jinxing it somehow. I mean, we haven't even started thinking about a name yet.

Oh yes, there are friends that we still haven't told...are we lame or what?!

I've been outted!

I was able to make it to SnB last night since z's dad drove the whole way back from the snow.

But yes, I was outted. Yes, I'm pregnant and we're expecting a girl near the end of May. I guess I'll have to start knitting for the new baby.

Body Dysmorphia or Holy Batwings!

I've had not one, but TWO major blows this week. And I blame the yarn, not the body...

1) the felted clogs -- felted very nicely, but they don't even come close to fitting my feet. True, I did knit a woman's size 8 (and I wear a 7), but they're way too big. They do fit z's dad tho', so not all is lost. How lame. I now have three choices: 1) Buy even more Galway yarn and knit the proper size 2) scrounge around my stash for yarn to make the darn things 3) another cycle.

2) z's dad's sweater--see above post about how the sweater is almost done? well, I was worried w/ the rapid decreases in the sleeves of the pattern and wanted him to try it on. I've had him try it on a couple of times and then I was using one of his sweaters to check sizing. Well, he tried it on and it was sad. No, really sad. My husband had bat wings! With the sleeve on, it was clear that the raglan was continued too too far and the arm holes were just way too big. A rookie move on my part was that I really didn't account for the additional 10 st cast on to connect the front and back on both sides.

You know, I'm thinking that I'm just going to rip the whole thing out, double the yarn, and make the husband a sweater w/ cables. There must be patterns out there...ugh...

However, I'm very glad I have such a wonderful husband who doesn't think I'm completely mad.

I'll post this now and see if I have the energy to actually upload the pics of these debaucles...

Happy Knitting Anniversary to Me (this weekend)

What a great turnout at the SnB. Gee, Julie's was packed with folks w/ yarn goodness. There were socks, scarfs, afghans, booties, sweaters, and I don't even know what else.

Me?! I'm still toiling on z's dad's sweater. But I see a glimmer of a light. I think I'm actually at the point of ribbing for the bottom. Altho' I still need to find out if that's the bottom he wants or a rolled bottom. Then it's off to the sleeves.

I'm hoping that this sweater gets done before or on our annual ski trip weekend coming up this Friday. We stay at a huge house w/ several other families and while some of the folks go off to ski, the rest of us hang out and relax. It was on this trip last year that I learned to knit from a great friend (and enabler), P. We even made a trip down to Truckee to the great yarn store Jimmy Bean.

Whether I finish his sweater or not, I think I should bring a couple of other projects to work on. Maybe I'll (gasp) try socks again. At least I'll bring the stuff for socks.

btw--I managed to find the camera so I'll have pics for you soon.

New Year projects

Well, I finished the clogs and got some advice on fulling them. (Sorry no pics yet, but they'll come when I get my act together and actually shrink these suckers).

My goal (end date to be determined) is to finish z's dad's sweater. I'm cruising -- uhmm...only 10 more inches of in the round knitting until I move onto the sleeves...

I had breakfast w/ some friends this weekend (on Jan 1) where they ate -- I didn't 'cause I had eaten earlier. And it was great. k who knits was wearing her very cool purple sweater. It looked warm and soft. Also, several of us had on scarves. How cool is that. Anyway, I think that after the sweater, I'm going to finish off my first cardi (it still needs buttons and I'm not too happy w/ the trim) and maybe I'll work on another sweater for self.

On the bummer note, z told me this morning that he wanted a blue sweater, but not the one that mommy made...I guess that may be it for awhile for me knitting for z, then.